Yesterday I wrote about a hermitage retreat that I embarked on a few years ago. At the beginning of the retreat I was meditating on Psalm 81:10, specifically the phrase “Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.” However rather than being a time of filling, God kept bringing to mind areas to empty.
At the end of my four days, I thought “phew, glad that is over, now I can get on with being filled.” I’m hesitant to tell you that it was not going to be 4 days, but 400 days. Yes, really 400. Until the spring of 2011. Now of course that whole time was not a continual emptying- there were many moments of him filling me up. But there was a pervasive theme of emptying, of letting go, of trusting deeply. This theme corresponded with a time of transition in our family’s life. Of really coming to the bare bones- will we live this life of faith we proclaim to believe?
We did step out. We left a comfortable life for a season of many unknowns. We definitely felt crazy at times. There were many moments when I cried out, “But God we have already left behind so much, how can there be more?” Like Abraham, a long season of being called out from something, but not yet knowing what we had been called to. And in what already felt like a desert, to be asked to empty more, felt impossible. Please let there be just one idol for me to hold onto.
I’m reflecting on those years, because I now find myself in a “filling up time”. I recently spent two days at a hermitage again and it felt like a marker. If you leafed through the pages in my journals from those two retreats, what a comparison it 
would be. This time words overflowing with ideas and action. Overflowing, not emptying. And it makes me aware of the seasons of life and that there is beauty and purpose in all of them. And remembering creates a reassurance to not be afraid of the desert seasons, the times of wilderness. For those seasons are gifts and whether we embrace them or endure them, they stretch our soul to have greater capacity to live life to the fullest. And there is no better place to be.
Are you in an emptying season or a filling up or somewhere in between?
Which are you more comfortable with?
Mel,
Thank you so much for these thoughts. You have a clear voice that speaks to my heart. I REALLY needed to hear this Word about emptying – needed it this very morning.
I love the timbre and cadence of your writing voice.
Looking forward to more!!
Beth- Thank you for being my very first comment! And thanks especially for your encouragement.
Oh goodness, this is so in line with something that has been pressing on me for a few months & looking back, began over a year ago – I will check my prayer journals to be sure.
A few days ago, I wrote about how overwhelmed I was with some nudges I was getting from the Spirit, some conclusions I’d been reaching about stripping down to the core and God rebuilding me. I’d commented to a friend about it, then bam, that night read about that in the book “Forgotten God” by Frances Chan, and then the very next day, a sermon on the radio repeated it.
Now this, your post too, fits into that, emptying then re-filling with what He wants, just a different way of wording it I suppose. Mine was stripping me down to raw bones then rebuilding me.
My emptying was quite traumatic and partly against my will. Maybe that’s why I use the term of stripping me to the bone. Well, I asked for it through prayer for a long time, but I also fought it tooth and nail for a while. When I finally gave into it, it was an easier process. I’ve let myself be led by the Spirit a lot more instead of me trying to navigate and then begging Him to protect me along the way, I am submitting. I feel like I am in the filling phase, though once in a while He corrects me on that too and takes a bit more out.
Danielle- Thank you for sharing that. Always interesting when God speaks through many different avenues.
Great, Melanie! So true, and very thought provoking. I have at times sought to be filled by God, forgetting there is so much I need to let go of first. It makes sense, really. So, thanks for this!
I recently started to purge things that have built up in our house the past 12 years… the garage, storage rooms. Places that are obvious and were in major need of purging and reorganizing. Next on to other areas that are not so obvious, where the clutter is hidden, and things that need to be purged are not out in the open. Your entries here have made the connection for me and God is using my house organizing and your writing to show me he wants to do that in me.
Cleaning the big obvious areas was easy, what remains will require patience, consistency and commitment. What I am doing around my house, God wants to do in my spiritual house too!
Thanks!
Hi Tim! Thank you so much for commenting. Cleaning out the house is a great analogy!
PS Love your photos- you are a great photographer 🙂