I took a breath in as I explained, for at least the hundredth time, the scenario. Once again I was met with a scripted reply.
I held the phone away for a moment. I wanted to shout “You aren’t listening to me, this is not a scripted reply situation!”
As my eyes gazed out our kitchen window my mind thought “Practice the spiritual discipline of not having the last word.”
Through gritted teeth I allowed the phone call to end.
I heard a story of someone who was at a conference where Dallas Willard, a great philosopher, writer and devoted follower of Christ, was speaking. A young man stood up and with some arrogance made some untrue statements. Afterwards they asked Dallas why he didn’t put that man in his place. With his knowledge and speaking ability could have easily done so.
His reply was “I’m practicing the spiritual discipline of not having the last word.”
For me, there is nothing like a customer service call gone wrong that brings our the desire to fight, to be right. Even when it has no consequence, only my pride.
Just like prayer and study of Scripture draw us close to the heart of God, so does humility. A letting go. Allowing someone else to have the last word.
It frees. It allows us to not be controlled by the situation, but by the Spirit.
And may someday I un-grit my teeth, and graciously offer the gift and discipline of not having the last word.
** After writing, I wanted to make a clarifying statement. There are absolutely times when our voice must be heard. In cases of abuse or when we are in danger. Disciplines are meant to open us up to God at work, not place us in harm’s way or shut us down.
I’m joining Lisa Jo’s Five Minute Friday community. What better way to get back into a writing groove.
The plan is to write for five minutes, no major editing, on a word, a prompt that Lisa Jo provides. This week’s word is Last.
Read here to see all the places a word can lead.
Oh, Melanie, that is a tough one. It’s so hard to just let it drop sometimes, yet it’s the most effective way of extinguishing a potential firestorm. That’s a great photo, that’s what customer service calls feel like sometimes. 🙂
Thanks for the reminder. I have been practicing this for about 18 months. I am really bad at it.
It gets harder when doing it with kids. They shouldn’t have the last word, right? Right? I am learning I am also wrong about that, and have switched to trying to demonstrate – through my behavior – that The Last Word is not more important than The Final Outcome.
Melanie,
Sometimes I Think You Are Listening To My Quiet Time With God. Seriously, This Am As i Sat With My Coffee And No Noise I Heard Continue To Do For Someone else. Be Last In All You Do. Then I Read Your Blog. Lol Coincedence Doubtful. I’ M So Glad you Write. Have A Blessed Day. By The Way I’m Not Sure Why This Caps Every Word Not On My Part.
Well done Melanie, I have been practicing this for a while now. Easy? no. Worth it? absolutely. Sometimes , in the case of my adult children, I always think, “save the relationship”, you can win the battle, and lose the war. If we are ever to be true followers of the Savior we must overcome the natural man in all of us. He never said it would be easy, He did say it would be worth it.
WOW ! I really needed to hear this today. I am not one to argue and try to get the last word but I spend the next few hours stewing in my mind the words I so wanted to say to have the last word. Anger builds up which affects my health. These words remind me to LET IT GO ! I don’t have to get the last word in even in my mind. Let God have the last word. His word says LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL.
Oh, I long to be controlled by the Spirit and not by the situations. Thanks for this! I can so relate and need this reminder. Truth be told, I really like to have the last word. Ugh!